This has to be one of the more controversial topics to explore because it varies from person to person and from action to action.
I fully understand why people think that others cannot truly change, however, it is concerning to me that there is very little to no faith in a person that has done another person wrong.
We change throughout our lives, our interests change, our style change, our sense of humour changes, and our looks change so why is it so hard to think that people can change their personailities?
Now I am not saying that EVERYONE can change, become a better person, some will always be stuck in their ways, but I do believe it’s possible.
I remember speaking to my mom about a girl that I knew when I was younger, and I reminded her of the nasty things she used to do, and the terrible attitude she had. And my mom responded with “That was three years ago. A lot can change in three years, and I don’t think it’s fair of you to completely dismiss someone when you missed three years of their life.”
She was right, I had an opinion on someone that was at a different time in her life and I refused to shake that impression I had of her. Needless to say, when I met her again she was quite lovely, her first impression wasn’t a good one but the second had me rethinking my views on her.
So in short, I do think that people can change.
Do I believe the phrase “once a cheater, always a cheater”? No. I don’t. But I don’t think it inappropriate for someone to be weary of someone who cheater, nor do I think it inappropriate to not want to give your trust to someone who lost it to begin with.
You can’t walk through life giving second chance after second chance, everyone has a breaking point and you shouldn’t make your life unbearable for the need to keep them in your life, but I fully believe that if someone has wronged you in the past it doesn’t make them the same person for the rest of their life.
Viewing people as developing characters has made me much happier in life, instead of being filled with hate for the girl in school who told me I was ugly, I feel joy in thinking that she has possible become a better person, and may one day apologize for being so cruel. If I were to see her in a year from now, I would gladly meet with her and talk, if she’s a better person, wonderful, one less person to add negativity to my life, if she’s still a horrible person, then hey, thats her problem and I don’t feel bad for disliking her.
I would want the same opportunity for anyone who felt negatively about me.
I have changed throughout my life, I have done things that I am not proud of, and would never think about doing again, and I have feelings about things that haven’t changed, but that doesn’t mean that they never will.
There is an understanding I have for people who believe that “people never truly change” I completely understand why, because they probably have someone in their life that is still the horrible person they once were.
Our experiences in our lives shape us to be who we are, and in my opinion it is unfair to decide that personal growth ends at a specified time. Just because one girl slept around at age sixteen doesn’t mean that she hasn’t repented and is still sleeping around at the age of thirty.
Just because a boy cheated on you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’ll do it again, and there is the possibility that he feels awful about it and never want to make another girl feel that way again.
And just because you talked badly about a girl in chemistry class that you found annoying at the age of 12 doesn’t mean that you are so quick to judge now at the age of 21.
We are all human and to me that means that we are growing, and are all capable of the same things.
So I change the question, “Can people change?” To the question “Are people willing to change?” Because to me they can, but it starts with their want and desire to be a better person, to be someone that they admire.