Can People Change?


This has to be one of the more controversial topics to explore because it varies from person to person and from action to action.

I fully understand why people think that others cannot truly change, however, it is concerning to me that there is very little to no faith in a person that has done another person wrong.

We change throughout our lives, our interests change, our style change, our sense of humour changes, and our looks change so why is it so hard to think that people can change their personailities?

Now I am not saying that EVERYONE can change, become a better person, some will always be stuck in their ways, but I do believe it’s possible.

I remember speaking to my mom about a girl that I knew when I was younger, and I reminded her of the nasty things she used to do, and the terrible attitude she had. And my mom responded with “That was three years ago. A lot can change in three years, and I don’t think it’s fair of you to completely dismiss someone when you missed three years of their life.”

She was right, I had an opinion on someone that was at a different time in her life and I refused to shake that impression I had of her. Needless to say, when I met her again she was quite lovely, her first impression wasn’t a good one but the second had me rethinking my views on her.

So in short, I do think that people can change.

Do I believe the phrase “once a cheater, always a cheater”? No. I don’t. But I don’t think it inappropriate for someone to be weary of someone who cheater, nor do I think it inappropriate to not want to give your trust to someone who lost it to begin with.

You can’t walk through life giving second chance after second chance, everyone has a breaking point and you shouldn’t make your life unbearable for the need to keep them in your life, but I fully believe that if someone has wronged you in the past it doesn’t make them the same person for the rest of their life.

Viewing people as developing characters has made me much happier in life, instead of being filled with hate for the girl in school who told me I was ugly, I feel joy in thinking that she has possible become a better person, and may one day apologize for being so cruel. If I were to see her in a year from now, I would gladly meet with her and talk, if she’s a better person, wonderful, one less person to add negativity to my life, if she’s still a horrible person, then hey, thats her problem and I don’t feel bad for disliking her.

I would want the same opportunity for anyone who felt negatively about me.

I have changed throughout my life, I have done things that I am not proud of, and would never think about doing again, and I have feelings about things that haven’t changed, but that doesn’t mean that they never will.

There is an understanding I have for people who believe that “people never truly change” I completely understand why, because they probably have someone in their life that is still the horrible person they once were.

Our experiences in our lives shape us to be who we are, and in my opinion it is unfair to decide that personal growth ends at a specified time. Just because one girl slept around at age sixteen doesn’t mean that she hasn’t repented and is still sleeping around at the age of thirty.

Just because a boy cheated on you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’ll do it again, and there is the possibility that he feels awful about it and never want to make another girl feel that way again.

And just because you talked badly about a girl in chemistry class that you found annoying at the age of 12 doesn’t mean that you are so quick to judge now at the age of 21.

We are all human and to me that means that we are growing, and are all capable of the same things.

So I change the question, “Can people change?” To the question “Are people willing to change?” Because to me they can, but it starts with their want and desire to be a better person, to be someone that they admire.


The High School Kid That Just Slid Through The Cracks.

Before reading, I must warn you that this is a post from the point of view of the kid that was just kinda present during your four years of high school. The kid that looking through your yearbook you cast over, or someone mentions them a few years down the road and the most you can say about them is “Oh yeah I remember them,” But really you just remember that they sat behind you in chemistry.

I was that kid, and this post would be a lot more exciting if I was prom queen, or a delinquent, or a scholar, or lead in all the plays, or a star athlete but I wasn’t.

I got good grades, but not the best. I auditioned for theatre and got rejected, I played sports but I wasn’t the best on the team. I honestly believe that I could have not gone to my high school and my absence wouldn’t have made that big an impact on life there.

I figured out I was that kid pretty early on in my high school adventure. High school is a place that once people have an idea about you, or you decide your place in the school, it is extremely hard to get out of it. I had the chance to be apart of the crowd or better looking students who liked to drink and party every weekend but I unknowingly turned it down about a month into my grade nine school year, and I also had the opportunity to become very well known that same year but I graciously bowed out of that as well.

How I figured out my role in the school was simple, I never had any drama of my own, and thrived on hearing about other peoples, I had spoken to everyone in my grade at least once, but still only had a handful of friends.

There are people that do remember though, there is the girl/guy that slept with everyone, and there was the couple that was together all four years, the hilarious kid in every class,  the kid that seemed to go out of his way to get in trouble, the person that seemed to know everything about everyone, the kid that was on their way to stardom, the really rich kid blah blah blah.

I wasn’t any of those kids. There was however one or two times when I was being discussed by other people (And I mean people outside my social group), I remember once my friend told me that another girl was implying that I was a slut, and the other time was when I challenged what a boy said in class and he went on to tell people that I yelled at him because he was embarrassed I proved him wrong.

That’s about as exciting as things got for me. For a little while I thought I was going to be labeled as a bitch though, there were many attempts of people trying to bully me, but my smart mouth usually gave them a run for there money, and although I was never looking for conflict I still wasn’t a carpet to be walked on.

I had friends that people would try to bully, and if I stood up for them then I was called a bitch and ‘Crazy’. One time this girl thought myself and all my friends were super weird so she sat at our table as a joke as her friends watched and laughed, as a result I told her to fuck off, (After I politely asked her to not try and make a mockery and joke out of my friends by just sitting with us.) and she lost her mind, called me a bitch and stomped back to her friends to rip on me.

That’s it.

I wasn’t even a weird kid, you know those kids in school that everyone just kinda labeled as a dork, weird or gross and did their best to avoid in any way possible? That wasn’t me either, they sat at the table next to us and my god people would avoid them like the plague.

My high school was mostly just groups of friends, and if the groups had to mix for school reasons then we were all pretty nice to one another for the most part but it was never a permanent thing. I kinda just ghosted through high school, listening to people complain and gossip about things that I didn’t really find all that important or interesting, I was never the talk of the school, I had some teachers that really liked me and others that I’m pretty sure hated me.

When I look back on my time in high school, there is no doubting that it could have been better, but it also could have been a lot worse. I like to think that I just kinda escaped without anyone taking interest.

I slid through the cracks, I left high school without being properly humiliated or celebrated and to all those kids that did as well then I salute you.

I used to wish I had been more exciting, or talked about or well liked, but I’m counting this as a blessing.

High school sucked, I’m glad I won’t be remembered as a large part of it.