Personality tests, horoscopes, cliches, all of these things seem to give some kind of insight as to who you are as a person. I am a Pisces so I must be sensitive and loving, I am a Leo so I must crave the performing arts and be bold like the Lion. The personality test I took said that I am the colour purple which means I am cool and funny but purple also means I’m shy and reserved. I play football, so I must be a meathead jock with a low grade point average and slept with half the girls in school, I am an icon.
My personality and who I am was giving to me, not developed.
None of the traits I mentioned above apply to me but I’m sure they apply to someone, or people think it applies to them. We are living in a world in which people conform to the way the world wants to see them, TV, Music, Movies and everything else in this world seems to describe each person perfectly and leaves no room for diversity.
The worst part about it is, we follow their rules for the kind of person we want to be. S For example; Society tells us that large butts and breasts are attractive so women workout to have a perfectly sculpted bubble butt, where as a few years ago a large butt was seen as a bad thing. Yet we work so hard to be seen as beautiful in away that 20 years ago would have been seen as unattractive.
We watch movies and see that the prettiest girls were dumb and shy so girls hide their report cards and stop answering questions in class. We see that the most desirable men were rude and hateful towards people but were misunderstood so men join in on bull sessions about the girl they like and then apologize for it like they did nothing wrong.
I am not who I am, I am who I saw on TV, who my friends saw on TV and who society says I am.
I am female and play a sport, so when I want to wear makeup or a dress I am teased for it. I have been labeled a tomboy so I must never wear skirts or heels, and become embarrassed when people point out that I wear makeup.
I grew up around friends being the natural person I was, but as time went on others developed a preferred life style they would like to be experiencing. My girly friend wanted a tomboy best friend who was rude and constantly getting into trouble and since I was an athlete it was easy to paint me that way.
Although I never so much as pushed someone I was introduced and described as some kind of delinquent that hated pink, makeup, jewellery and nice shoes. I conformed to it.
I like many others, am a victim to someone else’s imagination, and I worked hard to be portrayed the way they wanted. That made me fake, and soon the truth comes out and although I never gave myself these labels people called me out on things I never said were true.
I have grown up to be a different persona around my friends, a different person around my team and a different person around my family. Does that make me fake?
I am not calling someone a bitch behind their back and being their friend the next day. I am not lying to anyone about who I am, different parts of my personality simply become more highlighted when around different people. My team sees me as a hardworking and passionate person, where as my family view me as a loving and happy girl who gets good grades. All of these things about me are true yet when in the environment I am, you would think I was becoming someone else.
Today I have this knowledge and understanding that people will see me the way they want to see me, and that is okay. I have learned to just be myself and however they choose to portray me to others is their own opinions and views on who I am.
Coming to the realization that I was not being true to who I was but becoming a label someone put on me has allowed me to become the person I truly am.
No matter how had we try in this world to be true to ourselves we are still going to be labeled by someone else. If they think we are funny, then we are funny, if they think we are rude then we are rude, and if they think we are someone else than we are someone else and there is nothing we can do to change their views on us.
However that does not mean that we have to prove them correct and become someone we’re not. I am a passionate athlete and around my teammates I can be that part of me but I have to be okay with them seeing me as overly competitive. I am a tough person that doesn’t care what others think but that means I have to be okay with people seeing me as a bitch and heartless as well.
I am and never will be who I am inside, I will always be a label, and despite who terrible it sounds, I am okay with it.