Feel free to share you own too.
Listen when it comes to dating, everyone finds dealbreakers or red flags, and with dating turning online, you can now find them easier than ever.
When it comes to dating you usually have to sit through an awkward date structured like an interview, trying to find out as much as you can about the person before you decide if you want a second date or to run like you’re on fire. Dating profiles have made it much easier, five solid facts about you and your interests and a few picutres and most of us can decide if we’re going to like this person or not.
Sometimes it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with your profile. Be yourself you’ll find someone who loves you for you, I can just guarentee that it won’t be me, based on these ten things.
- Three or less pictures, or worse no pictures.
There’s alot of catfishes out there and odds are they are only going to have access to a few of your photos if you’re smart with your social media. The other thing about catfishing is that if you’re trying to look a certain way, then you probably only have a few photos that you’re willing to share with the internet. More photos not only reinforces that it’s you, it also gives the person more to judge you on. Not just looks but personally if all you can do is produce two selfies, that’s an opportunity missed to show us who you are.
The worst you can do is have no pictures. I can’t tell you how many profiles have no photo with the caption: I’m a great person, and I hope you give me a chance. I’m self conscious but I’m super fun! or Pics on request. You need to be confident in order to have someone be interested in you online, confident in who you are as a person, and what you look like. Plus it’s unsettling, every single person will consider the possibility of you being a serial killer. It’s unfair, but it’s true.
2. No caption.
I will admit that for some people, no caption is better than the one they have, but at least we know what your intentions are. If only having photos is working for you that’s great, but I can personally say that if I get interested enough to read your caption, it needs to at least tell me who you are. Don’t worry about being funny or clever, just think of the 4:2 rule.
4:2 Rule: You can pick four things from the following categories: Hobbies and Interests, Friends and Family, Pets and Animals, Entertaintment. You can pick one of each, or two and two, or all four in one, any combination and you have a caption, and at least two of those should be things you can do together. Example: I’d love to take a cooking class, I love to ski., I have a pet dog, and I’m in the middle of prepping for a FRIENDS tv show trivia night.
All four are potential topics of conversation, and all four are activies to potentionally do together.
3. Hockey player
I’m Canadian, I love hockey so don’t start with me, but Hockey players do have a terrible reputation where I’m from. They were extremely obnxious and “lockerroom” talk was not isolated to the lockerroom, nor was it ever okay. So maybe I’m biased from my experience with .000000000001% of the hockey player population. Now I haven’t experienced sexist remarks on a date but what I have experienced is, we just don’t vibe. I don’t know if baseball players and hockey players are just naturally enemies, that we’re like oil and water, it just doesn’t work and is just so awkward.
I have met wonderful people who play hockey, friends of mine played hockey, but myself personally can’t date one. Honestly, it’s the same feeling for the other party in this. This one time we met and saw each other and knew, 15 minutes into the date we finally just went “It’s not gonna work is it?” Another one we went to a batting cage for our second date and we realized halfway through the date that neither of us were interested but we still paid for another half hour…
It’s my list, Hockey player has to be on it. I’m sorry.
4. 23*
This one I just truly will not tolerate, when you have to correct your age on your account. “I’m actually 22.” That tells me two things, you lied about your age and it’s a good chance you did it because you were too young for the app when you started. As an adult it is always your responsibility to ensure who you are speaking with is of age, but when the app requires you to be 18, and you’re not it’s just inappropriate. The fact that you were willing to do that makes me questions all your morals and intelligence. No one has a good reason for lying about their age on an app.
The excuse is always that you didn’t want to make a new account or ‘start over’. So you can’t start over because you won’t be able to remember the people you matched with.
I wouldn’t remember them all but I would remember the ones I dated.
5. Loud and proud parents.
Don’t get too angry with me I don’t care if someone has kids, I like kids and I have never considered a father or mother as a negative thing in a profile. What frightens me are the captions that sound like this. ” Single mom/dad, my kid is my life and is my top priority and if you can’t handle that then you can F*** O**.”
Who are you yelling at? No one is attacking you. Anyone who thinks a parents shouldn’t be dedicated to their kid, or thinks your kid is a dealbreaker are wrong in my books, but are not going to swipe on your profile.
Also who hurt you that you feel the need to say this? Did you have a bad experience and theres a psycho ex I might have to deal with? TMI.
6. Social media links.
SC: @me
Insta:@me.
This is more of a concern, but I’m adding it to the list because if I see it I bail.
I am huge on dating safely and not going anywhere private with someone I don’t know, and not sharing access to friends/ family or information, locations… I just feel like someone I date would have to understand that too, and most people I have come in contact with who have their socail media accessible, want mine too. Sure, I can say no, but sometimes it’s a scam just to get more followers, or for me to be interested in your ‘rap career,’ or to know that you’re already in a committed relationship with a corvette… It became a waste of my time getting to know someone from their instafeed.
I want to get to know you, not your pictures. I also can’t stand when someone says “I hate talking on here, wanna talk on insta?” Nope, no I do not. You had the option to ask for my phone number and you chose my instagram instead? I will give you my phone number way before I give you my social media. You want to see more pics of me instead of getting to know me.
7. Cardio.
I just don’t do Cardio. No I don’t want to walk uphill for an hour. Next.
8. Don’t ask me this, don’t ask me that.
Don’t be negative in your bio, ‘don’t just message me hey cause I won’t respond,” F*** Trudeau, don’t just ask about my dog…
I don’t care about your preferences, I fully believe that people with different opinions can be friends and mature about it, but I don’t want to have to worry about the negative and one dimensional thinking. Posting any negativity reinforces that you’re not a fun person, nor are you someone that can respect my morals and values, beause your mind is made up.
When you vocalize that you don’t want us to ask you about this or that, you are forgetting that asking those same ‘mundane’ questions might be the only reason we talk to you. Making the first move is always hard, but if you rely on someone else to make the first move so much that you actually give them instructions on how to do it, then you clearly don’t undertsand. Most of us find making the first move terrifying and those simple ‘hey’s’ are safe in our books.
If you’re asking what do I respond to ‘hey’? Ask your own damn thought provoking question. It’s alot less embarrasing to be rejected from a ‘hey’ or ‘your dogs cute, what’s his name?’ than, “I see you wnet to paris what was your favourite moment from the trip?”
9. Hobbies for Career.
Video Creator, musician, rapper, artist etc.
I fully admire people who have a passion and want to turn that passion into their career, I also know that many people have successfully done this. Most jobs are specific; animator, violinist, media management, editor. Those I’m willing to do more research on, however I’m referring to the person who directs me to their media page and they have 1000 followers and 3 selfmade music videos with 1000 views. I’m impressed, I can’t do that, but I’m also not interested in a 27 year old that is pursuing a once in a lifetime opportunity with nothing else to support them. To be perfectly frank, if I get the impression that I might have to support you financially some day and we haven’t even spoken yet, I’m going to bail.
Not okay: I skipped college to focus on my music, I quite my job to focus on my music, I’ve performed tons of shows, this is my career. Well it’s kind of a hobby but I’m really working hard to get noticed in Montreal.
Okay: I work asa paralegal but I do art on the side and really focus my free time on that, I’ve had a couple peices sold and I’m really passionate about it.
Think like this; The less specific you are and the more you brag, the less likely this is what you’re doing for a living.
10. Photos with ‘friends’
Mainly for the heterosexual community, but it is only my list. I have always had a male best friend, but I don’t post him on my dating profile. Why? Because it’s off-putting.
Maybe this is unfair but it’s true. When you post a picture of you holding a guy/girl close, and it’s just the two of you (group photos are fine) it gives the illusion that there’s competition.
I mean, clearly it’s a friend/sister/cousin, no person could be that dumb to post their ex or current fling, and frankly I’m not in competition with anyone, but I still consider it a red flag. It’s a red flag for this simple reason, don’t leave it to my imagination. It’s common sense.
Then we have the problem with posting with your ex, I see it all the time when they put an emoji over the other persons face. We assume that’s your ex, and if it is your ex WHY HAVE YOU CHOSEN PICTURES WITH THEM TO PUT ON YOUR DATING PROFILE?! It’s hard to believe that you have moved on, and it’s clear that you haven’t been single long enough to have another picture of you doing literally anything else.
Lets Talk About It 